Lately I have been seeing this commercial that really bothers me. It's a campaign for abstinence until marriage, and while I have many issues with that, my main problem is that it is a commercial brought to you by your federal government.

My knee jerk reaction is that this is a religious moral being taught by a non-secular government. I think there is some truth to this, but its a flimsy argument. Also, I am way too ignorant of different religious doctrines to point the finger and say what the rabid liberal in my head wants me to, which is roughly, "CHRISTIAN ZEALOT RELIGIOUS RIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS!" I don't think that's necessarily true, or very zen of me. I know there are many other religions that preach similar moral codes over which young men and women laugh into their hands.

Secondly, this is a message brought to you by the US Health Department. I ask, what does the US Health Department have to do with abstinence until marriage? I suppose this must be a part of a "sexual education" message which would then fall into their jurisdiction. I was going to say I haven't seen a government sponsored use a condom ad in awhile, but I probably have just missed them and I don't want to go making assumptions without factual basis. However, solely promoting, or heavily promoting abstinence to me doesn't seeeeeeem to have anything to do with health. Avoiding a topic isn't health. It's the old joke of the person going into the doctor and telling them, "My elbow hurts when I do this." And the doctor says, "Don't do that." It gets rid of the pain, but not the problem.

I also don't feel I have a leg to stand on in the department of "Keep your government off my body." I have some socialist leanings and I would kill for well run federal funded universal healthcare. However, I'm becoming wary of what that would look like in the hands of the wrong people. "Ma'am, we can't treat your daughter, as she is unmarried and her hymen is not intact. Oh, I know it's just a sore throat and the sniffles, but she is unpure and we are not funded to treat heathens." Anyway.

Even though it is the combo of this message and the government funding behind it that makes me queasy, because I know it's wrong but I don't know how to defend it's wrongness, I'm going to tackle the message itself. The more I think about it the more I think that I will someday tell my children to wait until marriage if they want to, but there are several reasons to go ahead with the whoopie making. First of all, marriages fail about 50% of the time these days, last I heard. That doesn't prevent anyone from waiting until marriage, but it makes me theorize. Marriages probably last longer between men and women who get married later and life, and get to know themselves incredibly well. Just practically speaking, someone who gets married in their thirties is probably not going to wait. Also, can you get to know yourself without sex? If you go by the meditative idea of chakras, then one seventh of you is your sexuality. What is your sexuality if suppressed? Can you express it and not have sex? I know I express my sexuality in many ways that don't involve actual sex, but sex is also a big part of it. And can you get to know your partner without sex? Without naming names, I have been with people who were fantastic, and you have all this anticipatory chemistry, but their are too many issues in the way for the sex to happen, or be enjoyable. And most people are not going to stick around in a sexless marriage forever. There goes our divorce statistic again.

If I have to preach to my future kids, I think I would rather preach to them about the importance of marriage (insert side note about how it should be available to everyone) and the importance of being sure in every way you can be that you are ready and prepared for that commitment. When it comes to sex, wait instead until you are a responsible adult (at whatever age that is). Wait until you feel comfortable whipping out a condom and using it properly. I would even hope you wait until you're with someone who makes you feel loved and who would happily wait to have sex until however long it takes you to be ready. But wait until marriage? That's probably not a great idea.